On Saturday February 1st, my daughter thought she had food poisoning and based on what she explained, I went along with it. She needed help taking care of her boys, my 3 grandsons, so I headed over to help my daughter in need. I always have the absolute best time with my 3 lil guys so it really was no big deal for me. It was again, another wonderful adventure at the Greer house. My daughter slept most of the day and when her husband returned home, I headed home to relax because those boys wore me out!! The following day, I went about my normal routine and everything was fine. Later that night, my daughter sent me a text saying Dominic was now vomiting so this probably wasn't food poisoning...Oh crap! Within an hour of her texting me, my stomach began doing flips. Instead of panicking, I just went to sleep. I tossed and turned the whole night because my stomach was cramping, but nothing was happening. My alarm went off at 7am and then it began. It was coming out of both ends for 2 days and needless to say, I was weak and couldn't work for 3 days even though I work from home. I had enough energy to walk to my couch just so I could get out of my bed. Like most viruses, it ran its course and I was better by the weekend.
On Saturday February 8th, I called my mom in Colombia to say hello and towards the end of the conversation, she informed me she had not been feeling well and was pending some test results. All she said was they found something on her pancreas. My reaction was "oh shit." It was a somber weekend for me since I was still recovering from being sick and then she dropped that on me. On Monday February 10th, my siblings and I received the text that would change our lives; mom has pancreatic cancer and there are lesions on her liver, which means it spread. I can't even begin to tell you what I felt or thought in that moment, but since I work from home, I was able to walk around restlessly and pray out loud, but I didn't cry, it just wouldn't come out. I called my co-worker because I had to talk to someone in that moment. My sister Gloria called me shortly after and we talked for a while, but I still didn't cry. After we spoke, I finished my workday and did the best I could with limited focus on my work. Later that evening, after some quiet time, I called my friend Thomas. He met my mother 9 years ago so I knew of all the man friends I had, he could understand the best. I finally sobbed on the phone and he just listened. That was exactly what I needed, someone to just listen and allow me to vent and cry until I could not anymore. He then spoke to me and comforted me from afar, but I felt his love.
On Wednesday March 4th, (my youngest grandsons 1st birthday) a week after my mothers biopsy, the results came in and they were bad. My moms cancer is terminal. Chemo could buy some time, but quality of life would be impacted. The 2nd opinion results came back on Monday March 9th; same thing except the PET scan revealed the cancer spread to her lungs. In just 4 weeks, this vicious disease has been eating away at my mother and there is nothing we can do. I did go to NY and spent some time with her that I am so much more grateful for now, but living in SC it's difficult to receive this news and feel helpless because there is nothing I can do from here. Now, the Corona virus is a pandemic making travel difficult. Sadly, my mother wanted to go back to Colombia, but while waiting for answers, Colombia has now closed their borders until May 30th. Will my mother live until then to make it back home? I believe in my heart, that is where she wants to be, but until this Corona virus is contained and we "flatten the curve," we will not know what her final days will be like or where she will be. For now, she is in NY with my sister and the millions who are home in quarantine. Will I make it back to see her one last time? Only God knows the answer.
The wisdom nuggets I have taken away from the rush of tragic life events are many. I am filled with emotions, but I'm trying to remain focused on the good. If not, I could easily lose my mind. I saw this floating around a few days ago on social media and I absolutely loved it! Read it and receive this message, please. It is deep on so many levels. I am an introvert so this self quarantine I'm practicing is not really much of a change for me. My son is home now so his company has been nice. I do pray that whatever change needs to take place within my heart and everyone else in the world, happens. God is not allowing all of this to happen just because. Something good can and will come from this unfortunate pandemic. The one thing that I am struggling with is the social distancing. I am a physical touch type of person so not being able to give or receive hugs is the hardest part for me. However, I know it's best for now to keep everyone as safe as possible.
My son, like many other college students, had to come back home since his campus closed. He also lost his job on campus due to this unfortunate situation so that is hurting him financially. He was able to transfer back to the Publix here to maintain some sort of income. However, he is voluntarily putting himself (and me) at risk by serving his community to earn his paycheck. There are so many individuals in his shoes trying to work to keep sane, earn money, and just survive. I truly salute anyone working to serve their community, but above all, our healthcare professionals. The images of panic and death due to this outbreak will stay with them long after this is all over. I pray for their mental sanity and may they all be protected and filled with peace to get them through these times of uncertainty.
Let's be smart and proactive in working together to create a better world for everyone. Stay home. Wash your hands. Be kind. Spread LOVE...💜 and let's #flattenthecurve. We have to beat this pandemic, we have to!!
